Ok, this is going to be the longest post I have ever written. So if you don't have time to grab a cup of something warm and sit down you may want to come back. :)
I want to make sure that I remember as many details as I can, thank you for letting me share my story with you.
Isn't it funny how we plan our lives thinking that we are in control?
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" proverbs 16:9
We started this "Journey to our Beloved" with a desire for a baby girl. Over the course of the past 14 months the Lord has been opening our hearts for the change that was about to happen that we knew nothing about.
Most recently on our agencies waiting child list two precious little girls who are in need of a forever family tugged at my heart. So began a deep soul searching and prayerful time as to what the Lord was asking us to do. Believe me, fear had a grip on me. Dear Lord this was not MY plan. We prayed and we talked, we prayed some more.
Our pastors wife, Nancy prayed with me before I sat down to hear the message. Rick was home sick in bed. I actually think he already knew in his heart and he was just waiting for me to catch up. I believe that I was there by myself so that I would have the ears to hear. It needed to penetrate my heart. We are studying the book of Joshua and when I look at the notes that I took I am in awe. I needed to hear this!
- Put your trust in God - step out and let me move
- You are rooted in Gods promise and plan
- I'm going to do this and I'm going to give you the confidence it's Me.
- To see me move, you are going to have to obey
Our associate pastor Trevor went on to say that God is going to do things that we can't do on our own. Pause and prepare yourself spiritually so that you are in His presence. Let Gods power work in you and through you.
I had two different people give me something to think about at church. I love when people share like that.
After coming home the soul searching began intensely. My poor hubby, I am analytic, I'm a women and I process ALOT... it was good though, I needed to ask myself the hard questions, I needed to face my fears and search my soul. It really all came down to His plan was different than mine and I was stomping and kicking my feet. The funny thing is I have prayed all along "Your will, not mine" I just didn't take into consideration that His plan might look different. I wrestled with confusion too. I am so thankful God is patient and merciful. I knew deep in my heart that I was being asked to say yes to these sweet, precious girls. However to do that it would take surrendering and a heavy dose of trust. Did I mention that I have trust issues? I know right?!
One of the moms from Emily's school had joined us for some impromptu prayer earlier in the week and she took me aside afterwards and said "God is going to make a direct path to your girls". I should have appreciated the encouragement but I was still not sure what that meant.
I am happy to say that God is bigger than my fears, my hang ups and I can trust Him. I took that step of blind faith and when I said yes, I felt peace!!
We are going to be the proud parents of two cute little girls from Ethiopia. My husband is so happy and our daughter Emily cannot wait to meet them and play with them. I already can envision "The Three Musketeers" running and playing.
We appreciate any and all prayers,