Today is a bittersweet day for us....
Last Friday a little babe captured our hearts so we stepped out in childlike faith and said yes! for wanting to be this little ones forever family. She was on our agencies waiting child list (special needs) which is ironic because one of the reasons we chose to adopt from Ethiopia was we have requested a "healthy infant girl". Obviously the Lord works in mysterious and wonderous ways. I called our agency bursting with excitement and joy telling our coordinator that our daughter had found us. I was caught off guard when I was told we would be put on a list for families who also wanted to be her forever family. Strangely enough we hadn't even stopped to consider the possibility of other families. We had several things fall into place for us over the next few days and we prayed, requested prayer and hoped and longed for this little one. All the while trying to keep the Lords will in the forefront. We learned along the way that NINE other families were hoping to be this little ones forever family too. Talk about making beauty from ashes. This little babe went from an abandoned orphan to being pursued and loved by NINE families. God is so good. I can honestly say it brings joy to our hearts to know that she has been referred to a family who is going to cherish, love and care for her.
It is the selfish, my plan doesn't match God's plan that is causing me pain. I am licking my wounds a bit as I try to process these past few days. I am sad because I have to let go of a little girl who melted and captured my heart. I don't know yet what God wants me to glean from this experience. What I do know is that throughout it all I tried to remember all of God's goodness that He has accomplished in my life. I am declaring that He will continue to show favor on me. "Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I choose to trust the Lord right now in this cirucmstance, I want to find peace in it and that will only be possible if I lay it all at His feet. His word says "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." I surrender and I wait upon the Lord and give thanks for this experience. And yes, I love you Jesus!
I get these emotions completely. We had a very similar experience a few months ago, so hard.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry!!! We actually switched agencies this winter over a similar situation with IAN (though in our case we were told that us and one other family were reviewing the file and that we were in the same stage of the process. When we responded 1 business day later saying we definitely wanted to adopt the little one, we were informed that we were "bumped" for a more paperready family who had just expressed some passing interest. For the next 3 months no family committed to him as family after family who were further along than us required additional medical tests and refused to commit to him. I am so sorry for your pain and for IAN's lack of clear communication. It seems that starting with our case they are really changing how they handle waiting kids (basically auctioning them off to the most paperready family regardless of whether it is a good match)! Again, huge hugs and prayers as I feel your pain!
ReplyDeletewe have been praying for your family and know that everything will come togather, like you say maybe not what you has imagined but what is meant for you, as you know we had not imagined we would end up with a SN child, I worked with SN and I just didnt think i wanted to deal with SN. we have seen doctors and more specialists than I can count, she has had a brain surgery and because of finally finding the right meds, seizure free for a few months. but from the beginning when we found out about her condition all I could think was thank you god for giving me this child.. she has brought such joy and love to our family, she is so happy and a ray of sunshine all the time. just trust in the lord, you may not end up with the child you imagined but you will get the child that needs you. lots of prayers and love.
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